You know, believe it or not,
jə nəʊ, bəˈliːv ɪt | ɔː ˏnɒt 
you got a funny kind of resemblance
ju gɒt ə ˈfᴧni kaɪnd əv rɪˏzembləns | 
to a bloke I once knew in Shoreditch.
tu ə `bləʊk aɪ wᴧns ˏnjuː | ɪn `ʃɔːdɪʧ. 
Well actually he lived in Aldgate
wel `ˏ ӕkʧəli | i lɪvd ɪn `ɔːlgeɪt. 
I was staying with a cousin in Camden Town.
ˈaɪ wə ˈsteɪŋ|wɪð ə `kᴧzn| ɪn kӕmdən `taʊn. 
His old Mum was still living at the Angel.
ɪz ˈəʊld ˈmᴧm | wə stɪl lɪvɪŋ ət ði `eɪnʤl. 
All the buses passed right by the door.
ɔːl ðə ˎbᴧsɪz pɑːst ˈraɪt | baɪ ðə ˎdɔː. 
You could get a 38, 581,
ju kə(d) ged ə ˈθɜːtiˏeɪt| ˈfaɪv eɪt ˏwᴧn| 
ˊθɜːti| ˈθɜːti eɪt ˏeɪ | 
Take her down the Essex Road
teɪk ə daʊn ði ˈesɪks ˏrəʊd | 
to Dalston Junction next to no time.
tə ˈdɔːlstən ˏʤᴧŋʃn| ˈneks tə `nəʊ taɪm. 
I very much admired the way this actor produced a delicately
effect of Cockney voice quality while keeping all his sound segments
within General British possibilities.
The omissions of the /d/ from Aldgate and the /k/ from
/ɪ/ from staying and the /z/ from was in line 8 are all completely
That last one dissolved the was/were contrast! As for the /d/
in line 8 it's probably not there but it's one of the many things about
which one can't be sure.
The first word of all is a weakform of you that's perfectly
ordinary GB but EFL users shd note that it's not employed clause-finally in
There's nothing odd about showing get as /ged/ in
line 8: it's
not so much that it can be said to be indisputably either /t/ or /d/
but that here the distinction between them is neutralised.
Note that isolated numbers above 100 are spoken in groups of
digits 1 to 9 or
less often as eg "five-eighty-one". "Five hundred and eighty one" wd
sound elaborate or pompous etc.
This little monologue comes from Harold Pinter's play The Caretaker.